Table of Contents

• You Hear. But Do You Listen?

  • Active Listening. 

  • 1. Pay attention to the speaker’s pace. 

  • 2. Pay attention to the speaker’s inflection. 

  • 3. Pay attention to the specific words or phrases …

  • 4. Pay Attention to the Silence.

• Hecate the Eyecatcher

You Hear. But Do You Listen?

by Nancy Zare, Ph.D., The Sales Whisperer

Building rapport is critical for attracting clients, expanding your practice, and winning cases.

Of course, smiling, making eye contact, and offering a firm handshake are great ways to start a client-attorney relationship. Add a confident “Hello,” and you’re halfway there.

However, there's much more to developing profitable business connections than your initial greeting.

Great communication starts with listening. Not just any Active Listening.

Active Listening. 

Active listening takes effort, and few people excel at it. It means tuning into the message, vocal qualities, and emotions. It would be best if you captured the feelings behind the words.

More than content, active listening reveals the meaning of people’s communications.

Active listening requires intense focus, which raises blood pressure and body temperature—you may even sweat.

Just for fun, try practicing some of these ideas.

1. Pay attention to the speaker’s pace. 

Some people are fast-talkers; others are slow.

Pause to measure the speaker’s pace and then try matching it. 

Nothing is more jarring for your client than not understanding you because you spoke too quickly or feeling annoyed because you spoke too slowly.

Speed up or slow down accordingly. It’s like walking a mile in their shoes. 

This technique helps you build rapport and create a genuine connection, which can be crucial in legal practice.

Here's another way to build rapport with your clients and close more cases.

2. Pay attention to the speaker’s inflection. 

Inflection is a variation in pitch or tone to emphasize certain words. 

The opposite of inflection is monotone, a flat delivery.

When people speak with lots of inflection, it’s musical. 

 On the other hand, listen for clipped messages that sound like short bursts.

In some cases, you’ll hear well-paced and modulated speaking voices, which will remind you of professional newscasters.

To build rapport, match your client’s inflection. When you do, they’ll perceive you as similar, making them more receptive to your words.

Speaking of words, here’s another suggestion for building rapport.

3. Pay attention to the specific words or phrases your clients use.

Some discuss orderliness with terms like organization, structure, systems, and formality. They prefer conventions, traditions, and routines and speak in complete sentences.

Others talk about relationships, using words like peace, harmony, teamwork, collaboration, connection, and togetherness.

Still, other individuals speak with detachment and objectivity, using research to support their ideas. They use words like logic, intelligence, expertise, knowledge, ideas, and thinking. They sound academic.

A fourth group of clients use emotional words like excitement and fantastic. They talk about experiences and use many adjectives, enjoying quality and over-the-top events.

Matching a few words in your reply creates an immediate sense of being in rapport. This sets the stage for building trust and closing more cases.

One of the easiest ways to engage with clients is by repeating the last phrase uttered.

To illustrate:

Client: My wife filed for divorce. I had no idea she was that unhappy.

You: No idea she was unhappy?

Client: Right. It seemed like everything was working out. We just sent our youngest off to college. I thought she was withdrawn because the household was so quiet.

You: Withdrawn?

4. Pay Attention to the Silence.

But what if you hear silence? How do you build rapport, then?

Silence can stop communication for many—but it doesn’t have to. You can still listen and discern the meaning behind the silence.

Turn up the volume on the silence and consider what it means. 

Is it a pause or a signal of being turned off? Judge whether the person is thinking, pondering, and forming a response.

Some people need more time to reply, carefully choosing their words. 

Giving them space—silence—is crucial. They will appreciate your patience. 

Matching silence with silence can help build rapport and foster a healthy business relationship, leading to more clients.

What if the silence reflects something you said that might have been a rapport buster? 

Silence can be uncomfortable, especially when it follows a brief dialogue. So, how do you build rapport and close cases when your client responds with silence?

This often happens early in a potential client relationship. 

You exchange the basics and perhaps end with a firm statement or question, only to be met with silence.

As an active listener, your first step is to allow space for a reply. If, after several seconds, the person remains silent, you need to address the situation.

If your style might have been mismatched, you might ask: 

• Did I talk too much? 

• Did I say something unusual? 

• Did I say something inappropriate?

Once you pose a question, be quiet and wait for an answer. Observe how quickly or slowly it comes. 

Is the response consistent with the earlier conversation, or has something changed?

You can’t build rapport with everyone, but your chances increase when you practice active listening skills. Your goal isn’t just to close cases; it’s to attract the right clients for your practice.

Hecate the Eyecatcher

by Hunter Mestman

Each piece I create reflects my journey and the stories I encounter.

Why is art important? 

It is a universal language, breaking down barriers and connecting us deeper. 

Art has the power to heal, inspire, and provoke thought, making it an essential part of our lives.

What does art mean to you?