Table of Contents

• From Prospects to Clients:

  • Selling—Ugh!

  • Building Relationships—Yes!

  • Stop Selling, Start Relating

    • Ask for Permission

    • Speak Conversationally

    • Tailor Your Communication

• Oh No Spaghetti O

From Prospects to Clients:

Embracing Relationship-Building for Law Practice Growth

by Nancy Zare, Ph.D.

The need to attract clients is a pressing reality for any attorney in private practice.

As a smart, caring professional committed to your clients' service, you aim to transform prospects into clients, utilizing your extensive knowledge and skills while securing a prosperous living.

Until you engage directly with clients, your talents remain underutilized. All the time and resources you've invested in mastering your profession might feel squandered until you apply that expertise in real-world scenarios.

Selling—Ugh!

Turning prospects into clients inherently involves selling—an activity many professionals, especially lawyers, avoid.

Your job title reads "Attorney," not "Salesperson," and perhaps this is a primary reason for your discomfort with sales.

Another common thought is that selling doesn't require the specific degrees, special education, or rigorous training you’ve accomplished.

Being labeled as a salesperson might feel like a step-down, something beneath the stature of your credentials.

Furthermore, salespeople often carry a negative stereotype—aggressive, pushy, or manipulative. As a person who has vowed to uphold the law, you value integrity. No wonder why you sidestep selling.

Moreover, sales activities can seem misaligned with your style. Relationships matter to you; you may worry that a prospect's "no" will tarnish your rapport.

Rejection feels personal, and there's a fear that it will discourage future interactions.

Asking directly for business might feel like undue pressure and uncomfortable for you and your potential clients.

Despite reluctance to embrace the sales role, it's an undeniable part of maintaining your practice.

Beyond marketing, which generates leads, selling converts those leads into paying clients. This often means stepping out of your comfort zone, an essential move if you're committed to sustaining your practice and supporting your family.

You can’t escape the necessity of direct sales efforts.

Building Relationships—Yes!

Imagine a scenario where a room full of eager prospects needed exactly what you offer—no more searching or uncomfortable sales pitches. Building relationships focuses on creating connections rather than just closing deals. How would that transform your approach?

Building relationships is the bedrock of a thriving practice.

Long before the digital age, successful businesspeople leveraged their ability to connect on a personal level.

Think of Joe Girard from the Guinness World Records, who built his career on personally remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and other milestones.

Or Mary Kay Ash, who consistently sent personal notes to at least three people daily.

Another outstanding example is Harvey McKay. Called the McKay66, he kept meticulous records on everyone he met and maintained strong, personalized connections within his network.

Thousands of service-based professionals and successful lawyers use these methods daily, growing their practices while staying true to their values. Does this resonate with you?

Building relationships isn't a shortcut to overnight success.

But if you wish to act with integrity and strong moral principles, you’ll want to listen to my latest audiobook, Stop Selling, Start Relating. It offers proven strategies for transforming prospects into clients without being pushy or aggressive.

Stop Selling, Start Relating

The philosophy behind Stop Selling. Start Relating revolves around the understanding that people don’t want to feel sold to; they want the chance to purchase on their terms.

Consider the Difference: Being Sold vs. Opportunity to Buy

When you’re “selling” to someone, it often feels oppositional. Prospects become guarded, and the chances of forming a genuine connection diminish.

On the other hand, offering prospects the opportunity to buy puts them in control. They relax, their defenses lower, and they’re more open to engaging with you.

Ask for Permission

Asking for permission forms the cornerstone of Stop Selling. Start Relating and for very good reasons.

If you’ve ever hesitated to contact someone because you feared you might be bothering them, asking for permission can dissolve that worry.

Once prospects consent, you no longer fear being an annoyance or an unwelcome interruption. Instead, you become a valued guest and resource.

With their approval, you may ask about their current situation, issues, and aspirations for the future.

You become their trusted consultant.

Remember, asking for permission isn’t a one-time event.

Seek their consent at various stages: when you first connect, exchange contact information, set up appointments, ask questions, present your services, discuss your fees, and invite them to work with you.

Begin every conversation with a simple inquiry: “Am I reaching you at a good time?” This small gesture indicates that you respect their time and are welcome to proceed.

Speak Conversationally

The next principle is to communicate in a conversational, unscripted manner.

We've all encountered someone who sounded rehearsed, and it feels off-putting and “salesy.”

We advocate for a natural, easy, informal conversational style—like talking with a friend.

Imagine a world where every client interaction feels like a chat with a friend. Rigidity vanishes, sales resistance drops and everyone feels more relaxed.

Good conversation is an art. It should be relaxed and friendly yet purposeful, and you should know what you want to achieve.

In social contexts, conversation flows naturally with equal participation. However, you'll want to guide the conversation toward specific goals in business settings.

Ask for permission, inquire thoughtfully, show genuine interest, and encourage open sharing. You steer the conversation while making the other party feel heard and valued.

A good conversation is an exchange of ideas.

By commenting and asking questions, you keep the dialogue dynamic and set up your counterpart for success.

Tailor Your Communication

The third principle is tailoring your communication to match your client’s style.

Your success in acquiring new business will increase significantly when you adapt your approach to resonate with your prospect’s communication style.

Every individual has a unique way of processing information and making decisions. By identifying and aligning with these preferences, you’re not just speaking their language—you’re building a bridge that makes all future interactions smoother.

Adapting your communication style might involve a shift in tone, pace, or even the questions you ask.

Ensuring that your approach resonates with their personality makes them feel understood and valued, fosters a stronger connection, and increases your chances of success.

By incorporating these principles of conversational selling—asking for permission, fostering natural conversations, and tailoring communication—you'll create an environment conducive to trust and long-term relationships.

This approach enhances your practice’s growth potential and keeps you aligned with your core values of integrity and authenticity.

Attorneys hire Nancy Zare to enroll clients because they are fed up with exaggerated marketing claims and pushy and aggressive sales tactics. She shows them how to generate warm leads and turn 50% into clients.

Oh No Spaghetti O

by Hunter Mestman

I call them "Speed Date."

First dates are like abstract art—full of unpredictable swirls, bold colors, and unexpected shapes.

Dates can be scary, right? All the fears and insecurities just swirl around in your head.

These faces capture that rollercoaster of emotions. It's like ordering spaghetti and hoping you don’t make a mess.

Just like in art, let your true colors show. Unless you’re turning red—then just own it.

Remember, both of you are feeling that way—smile and relax. Seriously, just laugh it off.

Embrace the chaos and enjoy the ride.

It’s the imperfections that make dates and life beautiful. And hey, if it goes badly, you’ve got a funny story for your friends.

Hunter Mestman curates for attorneys who come home drained and need to relax after long billable hours. He rejuvenates them with a Drop of Inspiration.

The wall is an empty canvas; bringing it to life stimulates the brain to tap back into the creative side and relieve stress.

Art is the doorway to jumpstarting the right mood.